Ferrell Family Vacation 2019

We left for our annual family vacation -- our annual roadtrip vacation on the very last day of May.

May 31, 2019
This year's roadtrip picture.

We don't set off as a family to the beach or Gatlinburg for vacation like most people do in our hometown.  No, we pile into a rental car that is packed to the brim with our "necessities" and head out on an almost two week roadtrip across the United States.

June 2018
Last year's roadtrip picture.

Sometimes we head east.  For the last two years we have headed west.  We've traveled to Niagara Falls, Boston, New York City, Washington D.C., Mt Rushmore, Yellowstone, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Colorado . . . I could go on.

July, 2017, at the Grand Canyon.
This was our second time to visit the Grand Canyon.

Last year we drove all the way to California. It was so much fun. This year Zach and Alex wanted to go back to California because there were so many things we didn't get to see or do, but Dave had set his mind on going back to Yellowstone.  

Last year at Alcatraz, San Francisco, California.
June 2018.

So here I am sitting in Little Rock, Arkansas, where we spent the first night of our roadtrip adventure, writing this post.  I literally did not know where we were going this year until the morning we left.  Dave had not told us where we were going but kept it to himself.  It's hard to pack for a vacation when you don't know where you're going.  So at the last minute, we are all grabbing our coats and fleece pullovers in case it's still chilly at Yellowstone.

July 2017.
The last time we visited Yellowstone, it was warm enough to wear shorts and T-shirts.

I was adamant that if we were going to Yellowstone, I didn't want to drive through Kansas and Nebraska.  Nothing wrong with those two states, but there's not a lot to see but farmland, and I wanted to go a different way this time.  So we are going through Colorado.  

July 2017.
My boys at one of Yellowstone's hot springs.

Colorado is probably one of my favorite states to visit.  It is so beautiful and has so many wonderful sites to see.  It is also where Shane and I wanted to go this year.  #win!

Mount Evans Summit, Colorado.
June 2013 and June 2018

Today we leave Little Rock and continue west on I-40 toward Amarillo, Texas, where we will turn and head north toward Colorado.  The GPS gave us a faster route through Kansas, but Dave said it would not be too much longer to go this alternate route.  My husband is the best and always tries to make me happy.  There are underlying reasons I have for wanting to go through Oklahoma and Texas, but you'll have to wait to see what those reasons are.  

So it's Yellowstone or bust traveling with

the Ferrell boys and me!

My Daddy's Clothes

My sweet daddy left us to be with Jesus on November 5, 2019.  I had talked to him that morning on the phone not knowing it would be the last conversation I would have with him.  

He was so kind and gentle -- a perfect PawPaw for my boys.  

Even though it has been almost 7 months since he left us, I am struggling with this loss.  I am doing all the things I am supposed to do for my family, for my job, for myself, but I am struggling... keeping the struggle on the inside as much as I can.  For several months after he died, I would burst into tears seemingly out of nowhere, and it would upset my boys to see me sobbing suddenly. 

I am better at controlling my emotions now but they are still rolling inside me.

My momma is not a sentimental person. She doesn't like clutter or mess.  Seeing my daddy's clothes and shoes in his closet taking up space in the guest bedroom (which is where he kept his things) drove her crazy.  First, seeing his clothes was a constant reminder that he was gone and that was so hard for her.  Second, leaving his clothes in the closet meant that closet couldn't be used for anything else, and she wanted to have the space for her grandchildren when they came to spend the night.  Third, she doesn't like clutter.  He can't use his clothes anymore so they needed to be gone.

My sister and I wanted some of daddy's clothes to make keepsake items for ourselves and for the grandchildren.  She and I were to get together and go through the clothes and divide them up between us, but we couldn't seem to coordinate our times to actually meet at the same time.  So Michelle went through and got what she wanted and left me the remaining half to do with as I wanted . . . which is what I told her to do.  It didn't matter to me which clothing items I got of daddy's.

So one afternoon, momma called me to please come pick up daddy's clothes that they had separated for me.

And there they were . . . my sweet daddy's clothes in garbage bags waiting on me to carry them off in my car.  

Seeing his clothes in garbage bags really bothered me.  I don't know why.

I left them in my car for a couple of weeks and then the boys helped me bring them inside.  We took them out of the bags and carefully put them in a storage container.

Dave wanted me to go through them right away and decide which ones I was going to use and which ones I would donate, but I'm not quite ready for that yet.

So they wait carefully packed away until I can handle my daddy's clothes and make the keepsake items for me and my boys.... 

I knew this would be hard.  Losing a parent is something everyone dreads and there is no way to prepare yourself for the void it leaves in your life.  The worst part is I keep forgetting he's gone.  For just a brief second . . . I forget . . . and then in another second, I remember . . . and the sadness and loss is there again.

So that's all I have to say on this for now.  

Except it would be nice if you could say a prayer . . . 

for the Ferrell boys and me